I used to be scared. I used to think most people are mean, want to scam me or hurt me. And thus, I isolated myself. I avoided too much human contact. I was afraid to meet new people because I expected them to judge my behaviour, my looks, my personality.

When I come to think of it, it all started in kindergarten. Kids can indeed be mean sometimes. It’s like they can sense the shy, scared new child in the group. They won’t give it a chance. They will make fun of you, play jokes on you. And as you grow, your subconsciousness learns that the world is a dangerous place, that people will pick on your weaknesses, prey on your fear, and no matter what you do, you will never be good enough to hang out with the “cool” crowd.

Your grandparents and parents, even though meaning well, in their mind trying to protect you, will reinforce this fear of the world in you, telling you cautionary stories about theft, abuse, rape. They will tell you: “You have to keep your eyes open at all times. You need to be careful. The world is not a safe place.”

The media will further instill in you the belief that the world is dangerous. 90% of the news stories will tell you about murder, terrorism, cataclysms, accidents. You begin to think there is nowhere to hide from this. You begin to feel as if the scary, dangerous world was closing in on you and in every corner you start expecting an attack.

But as you become an adult, all these fears are still in you. You never stop to ask yourself whether they’re rational, objective. After all, your subconsciousness has learnt – this is the unquestionable truth. It’s based on the true experiences, isn’t it?

I had been living in fear of the world for a long time. But then, something changed. I started to open my mind just a little bit to make new, unbiased evaluations of my thoughts and interpretations. I started opening myself up, meeting new people. First very cautiously, like a scared animal, not yet fully trusting, not enough to open up completely. Suddenly, I found myself surprised over and over again. Where I expected judgement and deceit, I found admiration and warmth. I found friendship and love. I realized most other people are not so much different from me. They also seek love, warmth, support and kindness, and find joy giving these to others. When one begins to focus on cultivating these feelings deep inside instead of fear, anger and hatred, they will find that they attract more and more of these same things in return.

Bad things do obviously happen. But they are exceptions. And paradoxically, they very often get attracted to people who fear them the most. People who expect them, they invite them into their lives. Because the energy, the vibe you create within yourself doesn’t get lost, it gets subconsciously picked up by your environment and one way or another comes back to you.

Knowing this gives you the power to choose. Whatever feeling or attitude you want from others, start with creating it within yourself. You’ll be surprised how your life can change ever so drastically. You’ll be surprised how much control you actually have over your life and you weren’t just the unlucky one. It wasn’t the world that was against you. It was simply you who was against the world.