We all have many different kinds of relationships in our lives. Whether it’s a relationship with our family members, friends, lovers or business partners, many people sooner or later seem to face crisis, misunderstandings or even fights. I believe that more often than not these problems can be avoided by working on the way we communicate with other people.
The thing is that every person is different. We come from different backgrounds, we have different experiences. However, too many people make a mistake of thinking that others can either read their mind or actually think the same way as they do, which is hardly ever true. In our selfishness, we take on a game of not talking to each other or behaving in a punishing way towards our partner or friend, because they have done something which hurt us. Unfortunately, very often the punished do not know what they are being punished for which leads to even greater tension and frustration in such relationship.
In conclusion of this short article, I would like to stress the importance of good communication in everyday life. Do not expect other people to know how you feel or what is it that you want from them. Simply talk to them! If you want something, just ask for it. If you are hurt, explain this to your partner/friend. Tell them the ‘why’ behind it. Remember, people do not read your mind! Once you start being honest with others and talking openly about your needs and expectations, not only your relationships with your closest ones will get better and less tense, but also you will avoid lots of conflicts and you will start getting what you want more often (and this also includes the more formal relationships, for example your workplace!). However simple it may sound, it works like magic and makes life easier for everyone!
I agree with what you have said and find that effective communication can actually solve most relationships problems in our lives. There is much to be misinterpreted especially when parties have not been trained or have not been focusing on effective communication. With my partner we use a safe word that will help the other to understand that we are feeling lost or are feeling like the other is lost. “Shakespeare” has helped us to forge a strong bond by allowing the relationship to grow through understanding.
Totally! A safe word sounds like a great solution.
So true. Often we start disliking a person because that person has a different opinion or perspective on a situation. I feel we should respect the differences. Accept the people the way they are. Open communication acts like a panacea to all problems
And remember that men and women are genetically programmed to mis-communicate and, hence, misunderstand one another. What you say is often not what the other person hears. Magdalena is absolutely right when she says that the punished often do not know they are being punished. A good example is that women use silence as punishment. Men view silence as a reward!
Great article! Someone mentioned using a “safe word” – my husband and I have a “joke word” that we use when tensions are getting high. One of us will say “hot dogs!” and we end up laughing like crazy. The source of that is a long story, but the point is, it works. : )
Thanks for the great advice on communication!