How fairy tales can prevent us from finding true happiness

993310_1333673337538_fullFrom the earliest years we are told countless fairy tales. The little girls are fed with all those stories where the handsome prince comes on the white horse saving the princess… And they live happily ever after… However, no one seems to realize that these repeated threads stay in the subconsciousness of the child, creating the false presumptions in their later life.

So this little girl grows up with an assumption that once she finds her prince, she will be happy. Many young girls, and boys as well, jump into relationships which do not fully satisfy them but they feel that they should be in a relationship in order to be happy. The little girl gets her prince, perhaps gets married and soon she realizes she isn’t happy. She starts to search for faults in herself. ‘I should be happy. I have everything.’, she thinks to herself. ‘There must be something wrong with me.’ All of this leads to further frustration and dissatisfaction with her situation. What the little girl inside her was never taught is that happiness comes from within. Her subconscious mind got quite the opposite suggestion – that she should look for happiness outside, in a handsome prince and a pretty dress. However, in order to truly realize herself and be content with her life, she needs to develop herself. She needs to learn to love and accept herself. Nothing can ever replace that.

If you are a parent reading this, I encourage you to consider more carefully what you put in your child’s mind, realize that this will in a significant part shape their future. And if you are a grown up person who still has this little child inside you, I will risk telling you that here’s your answer, this is where your desired happiness lies – it’s within you.

38 thoughts on “How fairy tales can prevent us from finding true happiness

  1. It is so true. I try to be very deliberate with my 12 year old daughter that she doesn’t need a boy’s approval for anything. We try to get her to focus on what she likes and what she wants for herself.

  2. you know, you are so right! Our self worth and esteem shouldn’t be based on other people or from what the media feeds us with, it should come from deep within us, cos only then would it last…

  3. You know,you’re so right! Our self esteem and worth shouldn’t be based on anyone or from what the media feeds us with, cos reality actually is that what ends up been the most important thing is what we think of ourselves!

  4. This post is so spot on. Girls especially taught through most movies growing up that your life is about finding that one guy who will be your prince. Even when there are other aspects to these plots, the concept of finding that one true love to be happy is still so prevalent. I also believe it does more damage than good. There are so so so many different aspects of life that can bring one happiness, a cute prince will by no means solve all your problems!!

    • It’s great to know that there are other people out there who think the same! It’s really a shame how little thought the society puts in the messages that ultimately shape new generations.

  5. It’s ridiculous how the mainstream media markets this “have marital satisfaction handed to you on a silver platter” message and additionally ridiculous how people buy into such a message.

  6. Yes! I agree! I know so many girls who don’t seem to feel like they are worth anything if they don’t have a boyfriend. It’s like they have to have a man to have confidence, which isn’t true and is so sad. Yes, men are wonderful but they don’t solve all our problems and we need to be able to be confident with and without them.

  7. Absolutely! When my granddaughter was born last year, I bought her the Beatrix Potter collection. I prefer to help her build an alliance with nature.

    Thank you for choosing to follow one of my blogs. I hope you continue to enjoy the posts. Léa

  8. You may be interested in this…..

    The Uses of Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales is a 1976 book by Austrian-born American psychologist Bruno Bettelheim in which he analyzes fairy tales in terms of Freudian psychology.

    Thanks for visiting my blog

  9. Great article and love what you are discussing. Yes, we need to watch what we tell our children – and ourselves. It can make a significant impact on our decisions.

  10. Pingback: How Fairy Tales can prevent Kids (or anyone) from Finding true Happiness | The Forever Years

  11. Indeed. If I’m allowed, I would add that the boys grow up to be men wanting to put on their suit of armor, take on their spears, swords and shields and rescue the damsel in distress. I was one of these until I realize that no one needs saving. Stories and the media we are exposed to influence our beliefs, which are simply patterns of thoughts we repeat often enough.
    Human beings are wired to seek out relationships, both from a genetic and spiritual perspective, for without others how could we learn about ourselves? Thus, relationships can act as mirrors that we may use to reflect upon ourselves and learn to love ourselves.

  12. The worst part is that even if you take “fairytales” out of it, most of which have been rewritten from their gruesome original tales, you still have a majority of mainstream media first objectifying women and telling them they aren’t worth anything unless they are sexed out beings, but also that we are doing this objectification in order to get the guy, get the girl, get the ring, get the wedding, get the house, fill it with kids, etc. That was a hugely run on sentence, my apologies. TLDR: The entire culture could use a rewrite. Or at least parents getting more involved with their children and letting them know there is more to life than finding a partner and that one needs to be completely happy with themselves first or they will never be happy with another person.

    • I agree with you 100%. The society should concentrate more on encouraging the growth of an individual and not on stressing just that one aspect and making us believe that it’s the only way to find happiness in life.

  13. I have two daughters and I love this post.
    There is so much pressure on young girls to get into relationships while too young to handle it.
    I encourage independence, and study. Find work you feel passionate about.

  14. I love fairy tales, always have, but I did buy into them. It took decades and lots of painful living to be able to separate the fiction from the fact.
    Very thoughtful post, very well done.

  15. In a sense I do understand what you are saying. It goes both ways when you fin the person of your dreams. The person shouldn’t complete you but rather complement you. You know I do love Cinderella and the other fairy tales for the reason that the Cinderella and all of the characters are “Happy” Cinderella is kind, good and she is one with nature. She is humble and depending on what story she loves books. Do I want my daughter to have these qualities…yes! Do I want her to love someone for who they are on the inside like Belle….yes and not some handsome jerk like Gaston. I want her to be like Mulan and look at the girl in the mirror and know quite well what the reflection shows. I realize know that my prince and I can complement and well save each other because just like Rapunzel….I don’t need saving.

  16. Oh and it takes a pretty happy person to be humble and be singing when your stepsisters are being mean to you. But yes I understand what you mean about the ending.

  17. Thank you for following. I came here to see what you had to say. I respect your honesty. I love honesty and don’t always find it. thank you I will be back to read more

  18. How true ! They also propagate gender stereotypes ..The damsel is always in distress – the prince always a knight in shining armour…..your post took me back to gender psychology class!

  19. Absolutely true. It takes time and wisdom to finally realise fairy tales are not exactly a reflection of reality. Still a nice way-out though, when reality just won’t do…

    • A lot of future damage rests within these timeworn tales of non-reality. Hard to get past that. A little princess continues to maintain a small hidden part of us. Well said!
      Thank you for following me.

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