Today, while having my gym session, I was thinking how way too often I hear people around me saying things like ‘I’m so fat’, ‘My life sucks’, ‘I never have money for anything’, ‘People don’t like me’, ‘Old ladies and teenagers have a better sex life than me’, ‘I can’t change’, ‘It’s too difficult’, ‘I hate my job’ and so on and so on. For me, all of these statements fall into one huge category called ‘complaining’. Seriously people, I don’t mean to offend anyone but it seems that somehow we have become a generation which expects a lot and yet is not particularly willing to put much effort in it. We want things to happen to us just like that, for free. The thing is, it doesn’t work this way. If you want to change something, then stop complaining and do something about it.
If you’re not satisfied with your body and skin structure – replace fast food with healthier options, go to the gym. No money for the gym? Go running, do some sit-ups, dance around your room – it’s free!
If you’re unhappy with your social life, get yourself out there. Start saying ‘yes’ to people’s propositions. If you have no friends or partner, sign up for a language/dancing/whatever courses, go to events, try couchsurfing. Be open, there are plenty of people out there you can get to know.
You’re a student and you’re constantly struggling with cash shortages? You can find a job, it’s not that hard. No time for a job? There are plenty of ways you can earn a few additional bucks – from filling out surveys on websites such as this one: PaidViewpoint.com, to selling no longer used clothes, electronics and other things on eBay. You can also check out your university lab if they’re looking for any volunteers for experiments (I’ve personally participated in plenty of those, earning as much as 20 CHF per hour!).
You hate your job or you don’t have enough money? Ask yourself what kind of job you would really be satisfied with, do some research, look for opportunities, learn new skills and become more competitive.
If you choose to complain instead of acting, you’re actually making yourself even worse off. Complaining takes up plenty of your mental energy and time you could use for something more productive. What’s more, it makes you concentrate on the lack of something which attracts more of this lack into your life and prevents your mind from the active search for solutions. For the same reason, you end up being constantly unhappy as your focus is on the negative sides instead of positive ones. You also irritate people around you, which makes you isolated or attract more of the ‘complaining’ type which actually makes you fall deeper into this feeling of helplessness.
So stop complaining and blaming other people, God or the whole universe for what your life looks like. YOU are the one responsible for who YOU are and what’s happening to YOU. Of course, there are always extraneous factors, but I believe that we can condition ourselves to be less affected when they occur. Accept this responsibility and take control over your life. This is the only way things can change the way you wish them to. Do it NOW!