Us against the world

I used to be scared. I used to think most people are mean, want to scam me or hurt me. And thus, I isolated myself. I avoided too much human contact. I was afraid to meet new people because I expected them to judge my behaviour, my looks, my personality.

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Can you be an optimist without expectations?

Sometimes when we think about the future, we can find ourselves lost in pessimistic visions that create nothing but unnecessary fear and worry in us. Since no one can really predict what is going to happen, I believe such thoughts are better to be avoided. They will not prevent anything and just worrying about something that may never even occur seems pointless if you look at it from a rational point of view. Continue reading

Life as a chain of rejections

Today it stroke me that in any given area in life we are bound to receive more rejections than “yes’es”. Whether you’re applying for an admission to a school, for a job, to a literary agent to consider your manuscript or even trying to get a date, an average person will get dozens or even hundreds of “no’s” before that one human on the other end comes along and accepts their offer. Continue reading

How to keep our cool and optimism in emotionally charged situations

It is easy to be happy and content with our lives when there’s nothing bad happening. When everything is calm or when we’re away on holidays having the time of our life, it’s not difficult to be positive and look at things optimistically. But then something happens, something that we cannot control, something that makes us feel frustrated, upset or even angry. How can we keep that positivity in us when fighting the inner war of overwhelming emotions?
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“Don’t try to change me”

Does this phrase sound familiar? I surely have heard it in many contexts throughout my life. It is often used by people who, quite unfortunately, view change as a sort of attack on their identity. Any suggestion of improvement or an idea of reading a self help book sounds to their ears like they are not being accepted just the way they are. Because, in the end, others should accept us just the way we are, isn’t that so? But is there, in the end, a person in this world who never changes through their entire life? Continue reading

How to rid yourself of the dependency on other people

Have you ever felt lonely? Have you ever had a moment when you desperately needed support but everyone around was too busy to give it to you? Have you ever had to say goodbye to a long-term relationship and found yourself with a hole after that person, emptiness that you weren’t really sure how to fill? Have you ever found yourself in a desperate need to cheer up but weren’t sure how to do it? I guess we all have. It’s an inevitable part of the journey that human life is, to find yourself hurt or upset or desire attention from others. Today I would like to share with you a little cognitive therapy technique I have learnt, which has helped me immensely to instantly boost my mood in moments when I find myself feeling sad, neglected or lonely. Continue reading

Are we conditioned to hate our jobs?

With the end of Christmas time and the beginning of the new year, there inevitably comes the day of the return to offices and schools. As this day approaches, the social media as well as our own conversations become flooded with sorrowful complaints that the free time is over. And it is in the middle of all this that I find myself wondering why. Continue reading

What’s going on?

I might have been away from here for a while but for once I actually have a really good reason for my absence. Struggling with a lot of stress caused by many unexpected changes and events in my life, I have decided to try out floating (and no, that’s not my reason just yet…). Continue reading

On herd dreams and loss of identity

Browsing virtually any remotely social website or blog, I can’t help but notice the never-ending boasting fest. The photos of envy-inspiring travels, perfect bodies, dreamy partners doing all the right things, a splendour of expensive jewellery, cosmetics, clothes and apartments. A competition of whose life is more perfect, more carefree, more dreamlike is never-ending. Just looking at all those smiling faces on beautiful tropical beaches can inspire an uncomfortable, jealousy-stricken train of thoughts: why is my life not like this? Why is everyone better off than me? Am I doing something wrong?

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6 bulletproof techniques for successful goal setting

Most of us are familiar with goal setting as the first step in succeeding with anything. In order to get somewhere, we need a clear view of where it is we want to get and how we want to get there. But as goals are set, why is it that so few of us actually end up achieving them? Why do so many fail to keep the motivation up and give up halfway through? Whether it is fear of not succeeding, uncertainty about what the new reality will bring or the sheer lack of motivation, there exist some bulletproof ways to ensure success in goal-setting. Whatever your goal is – losing weight, finally going on that dream holiday of yours or setting up a start-up, here are 6 techniques you can apply in order to simplify your process and make the goal more achievable. Continue reading